Did I mention I hate wallpaper?

“Lonnie” and I have discovered why Buckwheat, the ugly mass on my armpit, exists.  The cause is now one more reason that I hate wallpaper.  Our recently purchased, awesome, 1924 home in Wichita is full of wallpaper.  I mean it covers everything. Some of you may have read my little diatribes against wallpaper, but I’m really thinking of rewriting Dante’s Inferno with the levels of hell reserved for each manner in which wallpaper is misused.  Each of these levels has been found in our house (except for the inventor, which would be weird).  Here is an overview:

Level 1: Inventor of wallpaper, so he has to go through all the other levels to see what his creation hath wroth before reaching redemption.
Level 2: Painted over wallpaper, while extremely lazy does make it easier to strip off.  Still a pain
Level 3: More than one layer of wallpaper, really lazy, seriously can’t you just take the crap off??
Level 4: Three or more layers, are you freaking kidding me? You had 13 kids living in this house and not once did you use them for manual labor?  That’s just stupid.  And lazy.
Level 5: Wallpaper on the ceiling.  I hate you…
Lever 6: So instead of just removing it, you plastered over the wallpaper in sections, and then reapplied new wallpaper?!?!  And why does it look like old lady underwear?
Level 7: Load-bearing wallpaper. Because putting up glue and paper is going to ensure that the canyon sized crack in the plaster will NEVER come down?! Idiots! Morons!! Four letter words!!!!!!!!!

As you can see, I’m a bit frustrated by the wallpaper and we are working really hard to get as much down as possible before we move in at the end of the month.  Here is where Buckwheat comes in.  I’m right handed.  I’ve done nothing but go to work and scrape wallpaper for almost 3 weeks.  The location of Buckwheat is on the rear part of my armpit, near the lymph nodes, but actually a part of my shoulder muscle.  Yes, the ugly mass on my arm, that my doctor thought was cancer, was actually caused BY STRIPPING WALLPAPER!!!!!  It is a highly developed, strangely located, muscle that is activated by the upward and overhead scraping motion used to remove wallpaper.  When we discovered this little reality, we laughed.  But my detestation of wallpaper is now infinitely more vast.  Heaven help the inventor when I get there (now many decades years in the future)….