A New Game

 

"Lonnie" and Kai left again and they'll be gone for almost 3 weeks.  I'm bummed because I was really looking forward to taking the kids trick or treating for the first time.  Kai has never been because we've always lived too far away from other hourses or its snowing.  Even though Kai was missing from this adventure I decided to take the twins to the base housing area for some fun.  They had a festival going with bouncy houses and pony rides, so of course we were initally distracted from the objective of candy.

 

Orion really liked the pony rides and was doing the one-handed cowboy thing.  Ayla, on the other hand, did nothing but say "ride the pony" and then proceed to cry the whole time she was on the pony.  Sigh.  At least they liked the bouncy houses.  After an hour I suggested to Ayla, since Orion was more focused on ponies,  that we go trick or treating and she proceeded to tell me "no". 

 

 

I described what we would be doing and gave her the candy bucket which she threw on the ground and then cried. I don't really know who's child she is sometimes. So I figured that we weren't going to get candy and loaded the kids in the car. We drove in the direction of base housing and looked at the decorations and finally I asked Ayla, "See all the pretty houses, they are giving away free candy.  Don't you want to walk and get free candy?"  The response from the back was, "Free candy!"  I then explained that to get said candy we had to walk to the houses carrying our candy bucket and we had to say "trick or treat!".  I hear mumbling in the rear.  "Can you say trick or treat?"  I hear "tricktreat".  I find a place to park and we practice the scenario again before heading to the first house.  Ayla did very good at the first house.  She presented her candy bucket and said "tricktreat" and accepted her candy with a thank you.  Orion proceeded to try and take all the candy he could carry from the candy bowl and then eat it, screaming when he couldn't.  Needless to say, he was carried for most of the adventure, but Ayla is a trick or treating pro!  I'm just hoping that she doesn't expect to play the "Get Free Candy" game tomorrow!

Spray Paint the Babies!

I've discovered a number of things being here in the South.  Most things are funny and some are a bit disturbing (like they celebrate Robert E. Lee's birthday on the same day as Martin Luther King's holiday--no kidding, it's on the school calendar).   The funniest thing though is that I've accidentally discovered the classic Alabama pickup line, which involves the words "That sure is a big truck!"  Yes, everytime I  drive our Ford F-450 duelie-diesel truck it is inevitable that some man will approach me in a parking lot and comment on our truck, usually inquiring if I was the one who picked it out or what size object am I hauling with it.  When I answer, I see the look of longing in these mens' eyes as if to say , "woman, I wish you were mine so I could take your truck to a NASCAR race!"  I know I should feel a bit flattered by the attention, however I'm more or less insulted that my truck is considered prettier than me. 

One great thing about being here at school is that they do a lot of family activites on base.  Most recently we had Fall Fest at school.  Many of the classrooms decorated for Halloween and handed out candy, there was a pumpkin patch and free food.  Everyone was in costume and that was really great!  I had wanted to dress us all up as the Flintstone Family, but lacking time and the $120 it would have cost for costumes, I decided we would wear clothes we had.  Kai and "Lonnie" went in their kilts, I went in my celtic maid outfit, and the twins went in their Japanese fancy dress.  Our story was that we were a Scottish family and when "Lonnie" went sailing to Asia he brought me back little Japanese babies.  The story worked, or people didn't care.  It doesn't matter.  What is cool is that we decided to make it more believable that we would spray the twins' hair black.  I know, what was I thinking standing in Walmart with the can of spray paint in my hand?  I was thinking that if we could pull this off it would be awesome!  Or extremely messy.  Either way, there would be a result.

We got everyone dressed and I got Ayla outside for her spray.  She did OK.  We waited to spray Orion until we got to the festival, thinking that he might rub his head all over the truck.  Well, we got half his head done in the parking lot when he escaped and took off running!  I chased him, Kai was running in the opposite direction, and Ayla was just standing there watching the madness.  We finally nabbed Orion and got him totally sprayed.  I'm proud to say that nothing was stained and many people didn't even recognize the twins!  Oh, and the best part is that our kiddos don't understand the whole 'trick or treat' concept, so we avoid all the candy! 

Drunk Bee...Stealing My Wine!

Besides the fact that "Lonnie" and I got to go on a real date this weekend (like where we actually talked to each other with words that didn't involve "Kai, stop touching people" or "Ayla stop eating that"), we also had the chance to do some good ole Alabama wine tasting!  It was a packed Saturday full of fun for everyone: wine for us, train ride for the kids.  We didn't even know there would be a bouncy house with the train ride, so we essentially became the coolest parents ever...if only for 30 minutes.

Ozun winery is about an hour from Montgomery and is actually a stop on the historic train route (you can do wine train rides).  We, however, had planned to drink first and then catch the Pumpkin Patch train.  We planned for all the kids to be asleep by the time we reached the winery.  Apparently, when children smell that you are about to do something that would be better done without them, they develop insomnia.  In this case, our kids smelled wine.  Thankfully, the winery had outdoor setting and we could let them run free.  That was until they saw the train and the bouncy house near the tracks!  After that it was a fight to convince Kai that we would, in fact, ride the train and jump in the bouncy house, just not while Mommy and Daddy were trying to taste wine.  And we were constantly taking our wine glasses away from Ayla, who seemed to think it was juice (luckily she didn't drink any).  The one bright spot was that the wine was essentially terrible.  We tasted about 15 different selections and I dumped all but 2!  The Norton grape, native to Alabama, must be grown with turpentine because that's pretty much how all the wine smelled.  It reminded me of a nasty moonshine that "Lonnie" brought back with him from Krysygstan, which I think we actually used as turpentine.  So the fact that we really couldn't relax and enjoy the wine was irrelevant because we didn't like it anyway.  However, it did draw in some bees, one of whom decided that the Petit Port was awesome (that was one of the good ones) and took a dive.  After we fished it out, it proceeded to drunk munch on an apple, and that was spectacularly hilarious.

The train ride was pretty cool.  It's an historic train with indoor and open cars.  Kai spent the whole time just repeating "ride the train, want to ride the train" while we were on it!  And then the bouncy house, of course, was the only thing the kids did at the pumpkin patch.  On the train ride back we rode in the open car, which did not involve any "grab him before he jumps" comments, which I deem as a success.  We also found out they do a Polar Express train, so that is now on our list of "cool things to do in Alabama."  It seems that list keeps getting longer, which means we may actually be liking it here.  Except for the mosquitos....

There Are Bug Bites on My Ass!

No really, there are.  I don't even understand how we can be in October with the weather cooling down and I still get mosquitos that bite me through MY CLOTHES!!  It's beyond crazy because that one place that you don't want to be caught itching in public.  But because I sit on my butt (a lot more since being in school), that area itches even more.  Ugh!  And of course my legs still look like I've been shooting heroin in them because of all the scars from bites.  At least I'm not attempting to be a model, which I'd never be able to accomplish here because I somehow missed the memo that I missed get completely dressed up to get the mail.  I'm serious.  I have yet to see a woman  down here (who is native) that leaves her home without full hair, makeup, and a dress or church clothes.  I constantly feel underdone.  Honestly, I don't care enough to not wear PJs to Walmart either.  It's fricken Walmart, I shouldn't have to try so hard.

So I had another week without "Lonnie" here, but at least he took Kai with him back to Colorado.  I can handle the twins; two kids are a piece of cake.  One in each arm--no problem!  We had no visits to the ER, I wasn't locked out of the trailer at all, and we only crashed one adult party (which we really quickly left when the kids started pouring their own wine!).  I even found a new babysitter so that I could attend a wine festival.  I didn't get a single phone call from her the time I was gone which meant that either the kids had overpowered her and hid her body in the lake OR all went well.  The funny thing was when I joked with her about that, she said that there was a point when she was laying on the floor playing with the kids and Ayla pile-drived her and Orion jumped on her head.  She was concerned she might get overpowered.  Thankfully, there were smiles all around and she even agreed to come back!  Hallelujah!!

And we are finally finished with our first set of classes!  I called my fake military Task Force Chuck Norris and I was at least smart enough not to try and use submarines in seas they can't access.  That's a win for me!  Our next classes are all military history (my masters degree) and organizational leadership (my PhD), so I'm hoping that some of the next few months will be easier then these last few.  We are looking to go on a train with the kids next weekend...maybe there will be a good story from that!

And So It Begins...

The metamorphesis started slowly with a "ya'll" here or a "I'm fixin' to (fill in the blank)" there.  And then I noticed the kids talking slower, and I'm talking slower.  The accent has deepened.  And I actually drove right by a Starbucks the other day and didn't think twice about it!!!  Holy crap people, we are adjusting to being in the South!  I think I'm more concered about the kids not knowing the proper pronunciation difference between a 'pin' and a 'pen' (same sound down here) then I am about missing my mocha lattes.  But the other transformation is the one that occurs being in a military education setting.  And since we are living in fam camp, it feels like a deployment, without the bombing.  There are weeks when we never leave base.  I use my bike more than a car.  Very focused on the mission.  Yup, very similar to a deployment.  Except for the family here, and occasional visitors (like Colby and Mom).  And when you are deployed, you often get roped into things you would never do at home, like volunteer to organize parties or join weird social groups.  This is what peer pressure does people, I'm just saying!  Needless to say, I've been running more then normal just in general and doing other community functions that I would typically shun in Colorado (mostly because it was too far to drive anywhere!).  No excuse for that in Alabama, so today I ran my first half-marathon with members of my flight group.  It really wasn't terrible.  No really.  I even missed the first mile marker completely.  And the stabbing pains didn't start until mile 9 or so.  And tonight the heavy meds are allowing me to continue walking, so I think I'm good.  And I actually have the desire to put myself through the gaunlet again!  Damn endorphins.

Having completed my first race in lightening speed (I really thought it would take 3 hours), we were able to leave for our first vacation on time.  We pulled chalks on the trailer and hauled it down to Pensacola Naval Air Station (where the Blue Angels fly from).  The trip down was 100% incident free, sorry to disappoint everyone.  However, the kids have already managed to induce mild heart attacks in all the RV parks residents here, since the average age is 75.  Thankfully, the beach is super close and I think the only thing that allowed us to get our kids out of the water was the lure of food.  Oh, and the wild ferral children have settled into being just kids lately--so either they've calmed down or I'm just used to the madness.  Either way, the beach here is awesome and the water in the Gulf is really warm.  I'm looking forward to a great time.  Even though I have an exam to write, I will not let the school's Operation Deny Weekend have any effect on my fun!