I'm Going the Kill the Bugler!

No really, as soon as I find the guy waking me up at 0600 every freakin morning...well, let's just say it won't be pretty.   There are a number of very wonderful things about living on base: no gate traffic in the morning, a short commute, and being in a nice and safe community.  However, I had forgotten that living on base comes with a few...peculiarities, that normal people don't ever experience.  The most annoying is Reveille, the morning call to awaken from your precious slumber.  Sweet sleep ripped violently from you by a stupid trumpet!  I'd rather have the alarm clock beep, because at least I can punch the clock to shut it up.  But I can't find that dang bugler.  I honestly can't remember noticing Reveille at other bases.  One thing I learned about Fam Camp, is that it is lovingly situated next to the flight line and the "Giant Voice" speaker.  The "Giant Voice" is like the announcement system in a football stadium, designed to be loud over a distance.  And we are living under it.  Awesome!

No one else in the family seems to notice Reveille and that makes it more annoying, that I suffer alone.  Sigh.  At least I'm not the only one sweating.  I've dealt with heat and humidity before, but this Alabama weather just makes you angry.  Not just irritated about the heat, or grouchy about feeling sticky...no, this weather makes you rage like that movie 28 Days Later!!  It's red eyes and horror movie all the way.  There is NO way to be happy in this kind of heat!  100 degrees with 90% humidity, just insane.  My sun glasses fog up going outside and none of the clothes survive the walk from the dryer to the trailer. Oh, and there is no such thing as "drip dry".  Yeah, I tried that one at the gym yesterday, figured I'd just get in the shower and rinse some of the sweat off.  But I forgot a towel.  No AC in the gym, no towels in the gym.  I attempt a 'flick the water off' manuever, but that causes me to sweat underneath the layer of water still on me, thus causing me to be wetter.  I surrender and just let the fresh clothes stick to me.  So attractive.  I need to invent the Body Kotex.  You know, a big pad you can just roll yourself in that will suck off all the sweat (and maybe a few pounds) leaving you fresh and light.  It's in negotiation with the Sealy mattress people.

It is Day 3, with 362 left in this social experiment we are trying.  That's the name Ali, another new friend here, has called this living situation we are doing.  She also called me a hippie...many times.  Which in Alabama, we are the most granola people around, but in Colorado we didn't even qualify for the finals.  We didn't live in Boulder.  Plus, I'm not ashamed to say that I have used a few powerful insect killers on the trailer and upon arrival here I immediately set up a perimeter of poison to keep critters at bay.  The walls are holding.  Anyway, the kids have mostly adjusted and started school (Ayla came screaming to me upon pickup yesterday, no problem) and seem to enjoy the trailer life.  They have also discovered how to work as a team, which normally I would champion, until....The Great Cupcake Massacre! 

A few visitors, Brandon and Rich, came over for dinner last night (fellow classmates of mine).  "Lonnie' and I fed the kids early and let them run wild while we all sat outside, sweat, drank draft Fat Tire from our keg (yup, in the trailer :) and enjoyed BBQ.  Of course, the 'run wild' piece became a bit too literal and we herded the ferral beasts back into the trailer for movie time...with the door locked.  Rich was kind enough to bring cupcakes. 

Now, I know that all my children can hear and see better than Superman because all I need to do is whisper "ice cream", "cake", or some variation of that, and I will immediately hear in the distance one of my children repeat, "ice cream?", and the herd stampedes.  Well, we had forgotten that we left the container of 9 cupcakes on the stove (kids already had some, so the taste of joy was still on their lips).  The ferral beasts were not alone long, a few minutes maybe.  "Lonnie" went in to check on them and all I hear is, "Honey, come look at this" which is never a good way to get called anywhere.  As a team, my children got the stool and opened the stove front to create a step ladder directly to ambrosia.  Only 6 cupcakes survived and little frosting was left, minus that which was smeared on the stove, oven, hood, refridgerator, their hair, and everything they all touched as part of the effort.  What can you do but laugh, and have your husband clean it up.

The best time I've had thus far, was the bike ride I took tonight with the twins.  Lathered in bug poison and thankful for a reprieve from the heat, we set off.  The greatest thing in the world is flat pavement.  The ride was as easy as could be towing 50 pounds of kid, and the road paralleling the flight line is like a back country road.  The coolest part was getting to watch the C-130s do takeoff's as we rode.  The twins seemed to like that, and that is another thing that most people don't get a chance to experience...racing a C-130 on a bike with your kids.